This may be the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=92jbfz9qa9M

Metroid, Other M(olestation)

Samus Aran has always been one of my favorite gaming characters of all time.  She's bad ass, strong, dedicated, selfless...after constantly witnessing the many kidnappings of Princess Peach and other various damsels in peril,  it was nice to see a character like that for a change.  She didn't need a man, or anyone for that matter to come rescue her and save the day.  Nope.  She stood alone and destroyed frickin' planets, saving the galaxy time and time again.  In a lot of ways, she's kind of like the Ellen Ripley of video games....

And now...



An interesting trailer came on the telly the other day, portraying Samus walking through key moments of her past while giving internal monologue...okay, we actually get to know a little bit more about Samus...that's...alright...I guess?  The idea hasn't really bothered me too much...I mean, as long as they make it INTERESTING and meaningful...right?

 .....

Even Ridley is giving us a "Facepalm"

Oh no...no,no,no,no...


After seeing this game for myself and watching the many, many cut scenes, I have regretfully laid eyes on what may be the BIGGEST Bastardization of a character (parody portrayals excluded) that I have ever seen....

So...instead of our silent, strong, bad ass hero that we all know and love...what...oh dear God, WHAT have these developers DONE?!?!?  I'll tell you.  They have apparently decided, 'Oh, Samus was just TOO strong and self-reliant of a character, phsaw, that's pretty lame...so, okay...HOW ABOUT, we make her this frail, moping, whiny, emo, brooding, weakling of a thing that completely lacks confidence and self esteem, and helplessly crumbles at the sight of a monster?  I mean, THAT'S totally what Samus SHOULD be, right??"

T_T....I want to stab someone in the face with a rusty spork.

Oh, it gets worse.  So, apparently Samus apparently has been in love...no, scratch that, OBSESSED with this military fellow named 'Adam', whom she has served (more like assumed the role of his submissive, boot-licking SLAVE) for all of these years, doing anything and everything just cuz she has the hots for him....soooo, am I obligated to accept that this whole frickin' time, that every single mission Samus has embarked on, every noble action taken by Samus to save the universe time and time again has not been because of her selfless heroism, nor for even any bounty...but ONLY to please a fucking MAN??!  And that's not all...in Metroid M, Samus Aran only defends herself from impending doom...when Adam says she can.  I'm serious.  Samus only uses her guns when Adam gives the command to do so...Oh my frickin' GOD!!!...I just...wow...

Look, I'm sorry...I really, really am not trying to sound ultra-feminist, 'men are pigs', blah blah blah...but this portrayal is just downright INSULTING!!  You may as well call her "Bella Swan"...I mean, am I the only one who remembers Samus not giving a flying fuck about 'relationship issues', or being completely dependent on some asshole who tells her what to do?! (The player using the controller doesn't count)...All it was was, 'Go to the planet, kill the Aliens, Get the fuck off the Planet'...and that's all it SHOULD be!!!

 

I will NEVER forgive Team Ninja and the rest of the fuck-up developers for what they have done to Samus Aran.  I daresay the Metroid series might just be FOREVER tarnished by this abomination.  I will *not* accept that this game has any connection to the Metroid series in ANY way.

And if Nintendo EVER wants people to take this game and Samus Aran seriously EVER again, then they had better fuckin' PRAY that no other fan will accept this game's existence either.

From days of Long Ago...

If this looks like a Villain from some 80's cartoon...well...that's because it is.  This is Queen Merla from Voltron: Defender of the Universe. (One of my favorites!!)  This was a pretty fun character to me.  She was the first Villainess I saw that wasn't just a minion of the main Baddie...no, she friggin' conquered planets on her own!  She was ruthless, and pretty baddass.  Nothing held Merla back, unlike Prince Lotor, whose love for Princess Allura often clouded his judgement and he therefore placed her well-being before anything else, even if it meant another defeat from the Voltron Force.  In fact, it was partly jealousy of Lotor's infatuation with Allura that drove Merla to bring fiery death to the Space Explorers.  Merla even had power over King Zarkon and often used her charms to manipulate him...she was truly the one who was in control.  She once even joined forces with the Voltron Force to save Prince Lotor from certain death, revealing that she had more than a simple soft-spot for the dark Prince.  If Merla wasn't cool enough by herself, she was also voiced by Voice Actress, Tress MacNeille.  So yeah...there's my tribute to the Queen of Darkness.

Happy 4th, Everyone!!!

The Last Straw. Part 1...(Part 2 to be decided)

I wanted to be optimistic about this when watching the trailers...despite the fact that what I saw in those trailers appeared to be White actors playing the three main Characters, even though they are *CLEARLY* Asian in the Cartoon, and I thought I could give this movie a chance even though I became even more upset with the casting choices for the Villains...I still considered going to see this movie despite that Aang's voice sounded totally weird and left me wondering how I could possibly take his character seriously? Sure, Aang is supposed to be comedic and silly...but HE IS A *KID* with a *KID'S* voice...I still had a twinge of hope lingering within me, because I love the Avatar series so much, and I didn't want to completely shoot this movie down before I even saw it...I was even almost willing to give Mr. Shyamalan one last chance...

Now I don't know if I can even bear going to see it...not after reading THIS:

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100630/REVIEWS/100639999

There have only been one or two movies I have EVER disagreed with Roger Ebert about, (The main one being Fight Club) and somehow, I doubt this will be one of them. Now, whether or not I can muster up the strength to contain the raging bile that would threaten to splatter the entire theater and it's unfortunate patrons and watch this ravaging of my beloved Avatar still remains to be seen...

So for now, this is the Prologue to the "Bending" of my sanity.

....I *WILL* say, however, that I intend to find Mr. Shyamalan and give a "Twist Ending" to his Nutsack for this unforgivable crime.

*Sings* Geek Dreams are made of these...

Thought I'd share a dream I had recently...

So...you know when you have one of those dreams where it involves you trying desperately to outrun some kind of killer or monster that's after you, and though you try to run, you end up running in slow motion, or you just can't move at all?...Yeah...I have those dreams quite a bit...only in THIS particular slumber, a much Nerdier version of that same dream came forth from the deepest, geekiest abyss in my mind...

In this Nightmare, I was desperately trying to play some unknown Videogame, (I recall it being like a First Person Shooter) and if I failed, something bad was going to happen...like "Crossing the Streams" bad.

However, my actions were greatly hindered, because the Controls to this Videogame were absolutely HORRENDOUS! (Like Zelda CD-I horrendous) It was very tense and frightful, just like the running dreams...of course, as a result of the lousy Controls, I was unsuccessful couldn't escape the danger that was looming! I don't remember exactly what type of punishment was in store for me for my failure...I just remember waking up after the "game" ended.

It was such a nerdy Nightmare that I half-expected to find the severed head of Yoshi on the pillow next to me. Normally I'm pretty disturbed by the nightmares I have, but this one actually left me laughing. =P

SHO-RY-u-kidding me???!

So, there's a local Chinese restaurant that I go to frequently, and besides the damn good eating, their toy machines actually have some cool stuff in them. Every couple of months or so, and they change them out with a new series of toys...and THIS line in particular surprised me a bit...



So you have these little rubber fighters on display, and the sign says "EXTREME FIGHTERS!", but if you take a closer look at them...



Heeyyy, wait a second!! It's Bison and E-Honda!!! In the first image, you can kind of make out a lot of the other "Extreme Fighters" as well. Along with Bison and Honda, you got Ryu, Vega, Sagat, Balrog (Who's white for some reason), Guile, and some chick who I can't really make out...(I thought MAYBE she was Rose or something??)




Here we got Vega, who's "claws" seem to look more like some hideous growth.

I wanted to get the rest, but I ran out of quarters. This basically looks to me like another case of cheap knock-off toys, like those delightful "Changeable Robots", or "Spaderman" and how about "Robert Cop"? =P But in any case, I found it rather amusing...still not as funny as the time I saw a cheap plastic dagger at the dollar store with, I'm not kidding, SEPHIROTH on the packaging!!!!!!!! (Only in this he was wearing a "Zorro" mask, lmao!!! God I wish I could have gotten a picture of that!)

Anywho, just thought I'd share that.


(The dinosaur was from Finnegans =P)

"Come, my Reptilian friend! To Bisonopolis! Awaaaay!"


http://www.urlesque.com/2010/06/01/26-hilariously-inaccurate-knock-off-toys/

(Here's a link to the funniest Knock-off toys)

*Sings* And you know my name is Simon! And I like to do drawrings! ^_^

Instead of just posting my new drawing, I thought I'd post the original up until the finished product as well as a description of how I...do...artsy...stuff...thing...since a lot of my friends ask me how I do it exactly. Eh, anyways, I should start off by saying that the woman in this drawing is none other than Princess Allura from the 80's cartoon (and one of my favorites at that) Voltron: Defender of the Universe! I used to be a big fan of Allura, thinkin' she was all strong, baddass and cool for being one of the Pilots and all.........aaand now that I watch it again, she's not QUITE the "Baddass" I remember her to be...(When confronted with danger, she seemed to swoon more than one of those Fainting Goats), but still, she's still a favorite character from my childhood, so I thought I'd pay tribute to her in this drawing.



Stage 1: Paint Program...Yes, I still use MS Paint. You think that's stoneage, right? Well Yabba-dabba-screw you!! j/k =P I first started teaching myself how to use it about 15 years ago and I just can't seem to part ways with it.




Stage 2: Smoothing and color enhancements. I use Adobe Photoshop 5.0 (now in THAT case, I wish I was more...erhem...updated...) I basically single out the parts I want to work on with the select tool, then I typically start out with a very soft Gaussian blur, and then I use the smudge tool to soften those pixels. Smudging can also really help with hair strands (Setting it on the tiniest brush and the highest settings makes for nice strands) For shading and color enhancements, I use the Burn/Dodge tool or I select the color I wanna' enhance and use the Overlay brush. And if I'm not satisfied with the coloring, I'll adjust it on the Color Balance or Hue/Saturation mode.

Why am I starting to imagine myself with Bob Ross hair?




Stage 3: Background


Hoookay...Backgrounds are NOT my strongest point...I've had a few drawings with backgrounds that I've been satisfied enough with, but not without LOOOOTS of tweaking...and even then, the satisfaction is only slight. So I tend to go with some sort of abstract, colorful background instead, as you can see. Though I sometimes use the layering mode, I mostly just select the area outside of the character with the wand tool. I start off with a nice, strong blur to get some shading and color's going. In the case of this drawing, I once again go to the smudge tool and go crazy, depending on what I feel like doing. Once again, I use the Dodge/Burn tool to help darken and lighten areas to give some variety and adjust the colors with the Hue/Saturation/Color Balance settings. You'll notice there are some "Sparklies", and I'll get to that later.

Are we having fun yet?.....*sigh*, I know. It'll be over soon, I promise. =P




Stage 4: Go random with whatever colors you napkin!!


This is where I just like to experiment with colors. It's not really much. I basically just used the "Variation" tool and selected the settings that I liked, in this case, a lighter tone with some yellows and peachy colors.




Step 5: Oooooh, lookadem' sparklieees! (NO VAMPIRE JOKES!!!)


I do quite like how the last image came out...but I also like to see just how far I can milk these photoshop effects! Whahahaha! So for this one, I obviously brightened it up even more using the Variation tool, and decided: "She's a Princess! (An 80's Princess, no less) More Sparklies!" So for THAT, I use the Airbrush tool, after selecting white (or a reeeeeeally light color) and then using the Color Dodge settings. I use the airbrush instead of the regular CD brush because I can get softer specks of light from the Airbrush. So you basically select the smallest brush and go nuts! Huzah!





So yeah...that's pretty much how I do it. Hope you enjoyed reading! ^_^

Art and stuff...

Just thought I'd share with you some of my personal favorite drawings that I've done over the years.



(Done in 2009) First up is my pencil-drawn (Later "inked" on the computer) tribute to one of my favorite Anime characters of all time: Lina Inverse of "The Slayers". I could go onnn, and onnn about how much I love this show, but this post is about drawings...SO, I'll just go "onnn and onnn" about how much I love "The Slayers" in a future post. ^_^ But I will say here and now that it IS my favorite Anime of all time.



(Done in 2008) As a child, if I wasn't drawing, I was writing stories...I ended up writing a TON of unfinished projects ("unfinished" due to a virus wiping my computer squeeky clean, and the bad decision on my part not to put any of them on a floppy disk). This is an illustration from one of them...and it is dear to me because of the memories that fill my head whenever I look at it. I never really did have a title for this particular story, but it was PRETTY much your standard 'hero embarks on quest while meeting and befriending a ragtag group of adventurers including a girl who is somehow the key to power untold'...in case you are truly curious, this particular image is of one of the characters, "Ryvendariel" coming to the aid of "Ailorwyn". Even if these stories hadn't perished under the wrath of computer viruses, I don't think I would ever truly have the courage to even attempt to publish them. I'll always have more confidence in my visual pieces then anything written.




(Done in 2008) This one doesn't really have much of a story behind it, other than I actually drew it during rehearsals for "A Midsummer Night's Dream"...though I SHOULD have been memorizing my lines, choreography, and lyrics for the Fairy lullaby...I think it started off with the intent of being a mermaid...then it sort of evolved more into an elf...but it could be some kind of elf-mermaid-hybrid, or whatever. Either way, I've always really liked this piece.





(Done in 2008) Aaaah, Guild Wars...see, I WANTED to play World of Warcraft, but I just didn't have the funds or the time to play it...so I got Guild Wars. I actually had some good adventures with that game...however, I found myself very bored with the "story", and I also found myself not really giving a crap about any of the main characters, which is a REAL problem in my book. Plus, when you reach Lvl 20, that's it. No more leveling up. That combined with the weak story and character development, there really isn't much room for enjoyment, save for adventuring with other players. But one of Guild War's major strong points definitely go to the art. This game is GORGEOUS, and has some of the coolest looking armor I've ever seen in a game...particularly the outfits worn by the Mesmers. Although the Mesmer pictured above wears an outfit designed by myself, that's not to say that the Mesmers didn't have some of the best-looking costumes in the game. It was more because there are TONS of Mesmers running around with the same outfit on GW, and I wanted to give her a unique outfit.





(Done in 2007) So this was done during my "Vampire Phase"...eh, okay, so I *still* have a thing for Vampires, but...oh, shut up!





(Done in 2006) Aaah yes, the Queen Bitch of the Universe herself. Starcraft is one of my all time favorites, and like many other games, took up countless hours of my childhood. Diablo is also one of my favorites, and yet, for some reason I've never drawn a piece that I was entirely satisfied with. Also, the Protoss have always been my favorite race on Star Craft...so much that I don't dare even attempt to draw one.


So yeah, that's it for now. ^_^

Zelda the First

I'm finally drawing again, for the first time in what seems like a year! I don't know exactly what set me off, but I don't care either! I'm just happy that I'm doing it again...I didn't realize how much I missed it until I started doing it again...anyways, this piece is my loving tribute to one of my favorite games, Zelda II: The Adventures of Link. This was one of my absolute favorite games growing up. Anywho, this is my depiction of Princess Zelda the First, who was cursed into an eternal sleep for refusing to reveal the location of the Triforce to a wicked Sorcerer. Her grief-stricken brother, the Prince, had her placed in a secret room within the castle, and then decreed that all Females born into the Royal family would be named "Zelda" in his sister's memory. I suppose you could say this is from Link's P.O.V after Impa removes the magic barrier and reveals the Sleeping Zelda to him. As for the character design, I gave her a more updated look, but while keeping a little bit to the original design (Pink dress, reddish brown hair) Here's the original art from the Instruction Booklet:

I can't stop watching this video! 'Adventures of Link' was one of my favorite games growing up, and though it has it's faults, (my main peeve being that you can't shoot the fuckin' beam all the way across the screen) it's STILL a very satisfying game to me. So yeah, enjoy this loving tribute to one of the more underrated games of the NES era.

Uh...Hi...

Yeah...I'm kinda' new to this whole "blogging" nonsense, so...Hiya's! I suppose what you can expect from me (if I even decide to come back to this site) are my random outbursts, rantings, amusing (at least in my head) stories and whatnot. So yeah, completely different from any other blog out there, right? Eheheh...yeah...it was funny in my head. Not really, but...later for now. ^_^